Maybe that's not exactly the way Shakespeare's "To Be or Not To Be" question was supposed to be. But that's the way it is when you reach a certain age of home ownership and adulthood.
To Date or Not To Date your electrician and run the risk of losing a good handyman? Because if we're being real, not all relationships end in a waltz down the aisle. So is risking reliable electrical work in the future worth a chance on romance? It's quite the gamble. I'm sure Shakespeare would agree if he were a 30-something-year-old female trying to fix things around her own house by her own self.
A good friend of mine is having some electrical work done at her house and thinks there may be a little spark with her electrician.
Here's the thing: You know you've reached that age of being a responsible adult when your practicality is outweighing your initial feeling of your spark plugs starting to fire on all cylinders.
And she deserves a little electrical surge. It's been a long while since she's been swept off her feet and taken out and shown a good time. She's divorced and raising her daughter on her own. And doing a mighty fine job of it for the past six years, I might add (in my expert non-parental opinion). But as far as dates? Chuck E. Cheese and then hitting up Redbox to watch "Frozen" at home is not quite the same as wine and candlelight dinners with a gentleman caller.
So when it came to the question of: To Date or Not To Date at the risk of losing a quality electrician, my initial thought was to go for it. Maybe it's one date. Or maybe it leads to forever all thanks to a faulty outlet.
So that's the advice that went through my mind. The advice that came out of my mouth was a little different: "The next time he comes over to work his electrical magic, you make sure to have a real low-cut shirt on. And then lean over really slowly and seductively to pour his coffee."
What? The guy likes coffee. And she's definitely not lacking in the lady bits department. So why not work with what you've got going for ya? Just like my dear old granny used to say: "If you've got it, flaunt it."
She laughed off Granny's generations of wisdom that I tried to pass on. But I really think that the 'ol coffee-lean could cause a little flow of electrons, if you know what I mean. Although I'm quite convinced his switch has already been flipped. (I hope you are enjoying all these electrical puns intended.)
See, the last time he came over to my friend's house to fix a few things, he claimed he was very booked that day but would try to squeeze her in. They set up an installation time and while my friend took her daughter to swimming lessons, her mom stayed at the house to let in Mr. Romeo-the-Electrician. The same electrician who previously said he was so busy that day, but proceeded to stay and drink coffee with her mom for an hour and a half after the job was finished until my friend returned home again.
For someone who was very busy and very booked, he sure seemed to free himself up in a quick hurry for an impromptu coffee klatch. While the rest of his customers were having their wires dangling in the breeze, he seemed mighty comfy on the couch.
My friend didn't want to read too much into this. But I did. I sure did.
And this wasn't the first time that Mr. Hot Wired spent an ample amount of time in her home. The time before when he was there fixing god-knows-what that needed electrical attention, he proceeded to become BFF's with her six year old daughter. He went out to his truck and retrieved an extra headlamp, strapped it on her little noggin, and allowed her to tag along behind him as he fixed this and that.
Now, he could just be a very nice guy. True. But, very nice, very busy guys don't spend hours on the couch, drinking coffee and getting on your mom's good side, waiting for you to get home when they could be doing pretty much anything else on the planet.
"But maybe he was thirsty," my friend said. And maybe he was. But they also have gas stations and coffee shops on every corner and he could have easily done his business in the house and been on his way through a drive-thru.
"Maybe he's this nice to everyone he does work for," she tried to say. No. I mean, maybe he is a nice guy. But if he did this at every house, he'd probably be fired. He freed himself up for a reason. And that reason was L-O-V-E or at least L-I-K-E.
And then came the tell-all. He said he wasn't even going to charge her for the five minute job he did. The five minute job that turned into an hour and a half... on her couch... on his time.
"But maybe all his other appointments just got cancelled for the rest of the day," my friend tried to logically explain.
So I told her, "Yeah, and maybe he cancelled them hoping that no one was home and you would need a little expert electrical work done in your bedroom, too. We really don't know what he was thinking. But I'm hoping that's exactly what it was."
And then she said, "Oh God, you're going to write about this. Aren't you? Maybe you should start writing trashy romance novels. In walks the plumber....or the electrician...or the pizza delivery boy...."
And maybe she's right. Maybe I should start writing those, too. But she's going to have to give me a little more to work with than "he sat on the couch drinking coffee with my mom".
That's exactly why she needs that low cut shirt. And she needs to figure out the answer to the question: To Date or Not To Date the electrician?
Because as much as I would love some juicy details for a romance novel that I will probably never write, we've got to first get past the dilemma. Is dating the electrician worth the risk of losing the electrician if the fuse fizzles out?
And those are the questions us 30-something single ladies ask ourselves. Well, she asks. I say wear a plunging neckline and just go for it.